By not planning for the future we guarantee that we will leave our children with a tremendous burden. Just about the time they are preparing for their own retirement and their children's college education, adult children often are overwhelmed with decision-making for their aging parents.

As a long term care administrator I heard it daily, “I don’t want to be a burden to my children.” But unintentionally most of us make it even harder for our children by not clearly defining our wishes or preferences. We can help them out by asserting control over our future health care, residential choices, and even how we will die. There are specific and discrete steps we can take to shape our own destiny. Many of these tasks only take a few moments of your time, some take a little research and others may require professional assistance. None of them are extremely costly or difficult.

So why don't more of us do this type of planning?

Before you tour your facility choices be sure you have done your homework. Go online and visit Medicare.gov. They have wonderful resources available to you for free. They are user friendly. Please see the end of this article for details.

To narrow down your choice between two or three nursing homes or just considering the only available nursing home to place your family member or friend, it takes two visits. Take someone with you and if at all possible take the person who will be moving into the nursing home.

Your first visit to the nursing home is what I call “THEIR PITCH”. Set it up for the morning anytime before 11:00 AM on a Saturday and plan to be there at least an hour. Get there 15 to 20 minutes early with a magazine or a newspaper and let the receptionist know you are there. Take a seat in the lobby and wait. This is not waisted time. Open up your newspaper or magazine and eaves drop without calling attention to yourself. Let your senses lead the way. Have you been offered refreshments? Does the facility smell? Does the interaction of others sound pleasant?

Read over their resume.. look at their qualifications, and ask questions that verify their skill as they relate to your facilities job opening and its requirements.

When you interview candidates for a job opening, you need to ask questions to be sure they can do the job, but it is even more important to ask questions to make sure they can handle stress and that they will fit in with the team

Sample Interview  // below